I saw Morgun Spurlock’s Comic-Con documentary at TIFF this week [actually this past September], exhaustingly but aptly titled Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope, and it was fantastic. It didn’t really approach the subject as an attempt to document the history, overall cultural influence of the con, its role in San Diego, controversies or anything like that – though there were elements of these things – instead, it was more of a love letter from convention goers to the con itself.

By following a handful of fans who attended as part of their dreams to become comic book artists or costume designers, as well as a comic book retailer and a whole slew of famous, regular con-goers like Kevin Smith and Joss Whedon (!), it told the story of what the convention means to real fans/geeks/lovers-of-things.

A lot of people have been talking about how it’s a charming look at the kind of people who love things intensely, especially the kinds of fans who are moved to emulation as artists. I definitely agree, and I’d have to say it accurately and wonderfully reflected my feelings and experiences as a fan. Even if you don’t consider yourself a part of “that world,” go see it. It’ll explain a lot about why conventions mean something to those who go, and what that whole culture means to them (us).

Ira Glass on Storytelling from David Shiyang Liu on Vimeo.

Hors d’oeuvres

Spam musubi (it’s really popular in Hawaii, I swear) [The Descendants]
Pigs in a blanket (sorry for all the pig-meat) [Moneyball]
Baguettes and cheese (preferably cut into whimsical shapes) [Hugo]

Cocktails

Mint Juleps (or one of these other drinks popular in the 1920s, just don’t actually make it in a bathtub) [Midnight in Paris]

Main Attractions

Brazilian BBQ (cooked WELL) [Bridesmaids]
HDLT sandwiches (horse, (komodo) dragon, lettuce and tomato… no? okay, yeah, no.) [War Horse, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo]
Broccoli (maybe this recipe, whatever; no one will get it anyway) [The Tree of Life]

Dessert

Black-and-white cookies (hand them out silently and while tap dancing) [The Artist]
Fortune cookies (make your own, with your own fortunes!) [Kung Fu Panda 2]
Chocolate pie (for the love of god, don’t put shit in it; it’s on the record that I said ‘don’t') [The Help]
Serve with tea and cigarettes [Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy]

Then say you prepared everything while crying and being melodramatic. [Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close]

On the subject of TV writing/showrunning, I would also recommend this episode of the Making It podcast, hosted by Riki Lindhome, that features man-after-my-heart Joss Whedon.

Besides finding this stuff interesting as a fan of serialized TV, I also find it really motivating. Hell, it’s enough to make me want to actually write something, as opposed to writing about writing FOR ONCE. (And, for the sake of disclosure, I like reading/listening to stuff like this because I believe this kind of discourse can apply, in limited ways, to other forms of writing, including novels. It’s all about story and characters, after all.)

Maybe some movies are like amusement park rides, and that’s okay. After all, would it be so bad to enjoy a multi-million-dollar, hour-and-a-half piece of entertainment without judging it on its storytelling merits? … No! It wouldn’t! Try it, you’ll see!

Normally, we’d classify these kinds of movies as “fluff”, “bubblegum,” or “a popcorn movie”. Or, as I usually say, a “guilty pleasure.” It’s not a new idea, this tolerance of popcorn variety fluff. But what I’m talking about is beyond that. I want to stop thinking of them as movies all together, and instead consider them as rides in movie form.

Examples:

• The Paranormal Activity series: Yes, they will be making another one in 2012. Yes, this is okay with me. Yes, I will see it opening weekend. No, I probably won’t care that it lacks story, good acting or that it’s a re-packaging of the same old thrills. That’s exactly what I want.
• The Fast and the Furious series: If you listen to our podcast–and of course you do–you’ll recall that we discussed guilty pleasure movies once, and I chose this series as the cream of the crop. Except that I don’t really feel guilty, because it’s basically porn, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
• Dance movies: You know, like, Save the Last Dance, Step Up and even Bring It On, to a degree. They are a vehicle for delivering awesome-cool dance moves with a loose story to hold it together, and I love them for that. Again, akin to porn.
• On that note–porn: See, no one expects porn to live up to the standards we hold other movies to. It’s crossed that line. We know what we want to see when we sit down to watch a bit of pornography. No pretence. No delusions. Just a beautiful meeting of expectations and delivery.

A counter argument: Okay, fluff can be really, really bad. And in these cases, you have to wonder what people are thinking when their functioning, human adult brains  seem to find a source of amusement in them. “This is actually an interesting plot!” “Those inane jokes about penises are pretty funny!” “I can’t believe the crazy adventures that hockey-playing monkey gets himself into!” And in these cases, especially when you see them raking in huge box office numbers while The Hurt Locker barely breaks even, yeah, that sucks, and you have to wonder what went wrong down the evolutionary conga line. But, I suppose ideally, fluff could co-exist alongside the good ones, the movies that are actually good movie-movies. And, of course, god bless the ones that seem to please nearly everyone.

Perhaps the key difference between a movie that’s just a fun ride and a plain old bad movie is how hard they try and fail to be a good movie. Example: Cowboys & Aliens was a bad movie because it was  trying to be a good movie. It thought it was interesting, when it wasn’t. It thought the characters were worth rooting for, when they weren’t. As for The Fast and the Furious? It knows it’s a fluffy action movie with hot people and fast cars. We’re all on the same page, which is essential.

I think, at times like this, of my mother, who has  very little interest in seeing anything that isn’t fluff. (She recently told me about this HILARIOUS movie called Tower Heist. She also really enjoys Two and a Half Men, as so many mothers, for some reason, do.) And I just can’t  fault her for that. After a hard day’s work and a lifetime of raising children who didn’t grow up to be doctors like she asked, I think it makes sense that she’d want to escape to a land of easy jokes and slapstick humour when she buys a movie ticket. Why not? If she can enjoy them, she should. [<-- I would make this a pull quote, if I used pull quotes.]

So, let’s not just tolerate them with a shrug, and a flippant, “oh, it’s just fluff.” Let’s celebrate these movies for what they are! Joy rides! Vehicles of amusement! Various forms of porn, depending on what you’re into! And then we can go see a Fellini retrospective and feel good again. Because good movies are still good movies, even if we allow ourselves to make room for the pornography/amusement park variety. Just find a little room in your heart, and you will be justly rewarded.

NUCKY
How is he still alive after three days out in the cold?

ELI
He’s fat.

NUCKY
What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?

ELI
He’s insulated. I dunno. How the fuck should I know? The cold, and the buckshot–I’m no doctor.

NUCKY
Really?

JIMMY
I thought we killed them all.

NUCKY
‘Thought.’ Fuckin’ Aristotle. [To Eli] So, what are they doin’ to him?

ELI
What difference does it make? Guy’s got a hole in his stomach big as a grapefruit. He thaws out a little–he’s a goner.

NUCKY
Now you’re a doctor.

ELI
What are you mad at me for?

NUCKY
I’m late. Let nature take its course, help it along if you can. And you better hope he dies real soon.

Ten years later, I read a chapter from it at a session of Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids. AND! Luckily for me, the incomparable Laura Godfrey recorded the whole thing.

Now, luckily for you, I’ve decided to post it here. Enjoy!

Child of Evil: Chapter 15 by 12/13-year-old Zalina Alvi

P.S. Please remember that I wrote this as a child. Please.

8 reasons why the Twilight series is like Pretty Woman:

1. Edward (in Pretty Woman) never eats or sleeps (almost never sleeps). Neither does Edward (in Twilight). In fact, Edward watches Bella eat in that restaurant, and Edward watches Vivian eat breakfast after their first night together.
2. Bella has little to no confidence and is dazzled by Edward’s world. Ditto for Vivian.
3. Bella gives up her “horrible” life to live in his. So does Vivian, for a little while, and we can assume that she continues to do so after the end of the movie.
4. Edward (Twilight) sparkles. Edward (Pretty Woman) sparkles with money.
5. Both Edwards are well-off with fancy things. Both Edwards “save” their respective ladies in a fancy, silver car.
6. Bella and Vivian have friends who they think they’re better than.
7. Bella and Vivian are both forcibly kissed by a guy — Jacob and Stuckey.
8. Bella and Edward wait until they’re married to have sex. So do- wait, never mind.

If I could have that tattooed on my body, I would. (…Actually!…Maybe???)

And this: “If you want something you’ve never had before, you have to do something you’ve never done before.” – Michael Jackson? (???)

Onwards and upwards, my friends!